….. Rant Over. Knobs

I realised today that is has been 2 weeks since my last post, this is the longest I have gone for nearly 2 years without posting a blog.

Some of you might be elated by this. You can fuck off.

Some of you have messaged me to check I am still alive and getting into trouble. Bless you children.

So I sat down to penn a blog post….. But what about? It occurred to me that I’m a bit of a ranter.. Fucking hate that word. Always reminds me of some fuck nut on Facebook with no punctuation reeling off some shit status like… ‘Fing is yeah a dont even care wot u got 2 say behind me bk coz fing is yeah al just sayit 2 ya fukin face if av got out to sey… thasit.. RANT OVER’ 

Oh do shut up you treacherous mule.

Back to the point though. I tend to blast out a blog post faster than my fat little fingers know how to type when I have a bee in my bonnet about something and it would just seem that at this very moment in time… I just don’t.

So, time to asses why this is? It would be a million miles away from the truth to say that this has been a great month and my life is so pinky fucking perky that I am just so bloody happy there is just simply nothing to moan about. If anything, this has been THE WORST month I have had in a long time. Why? Well heres the chuffing list.

– Broken Knee

A&E for Lilli B
A&E for Lilli B

– Stolen iPhone

– Flight from Switzerland to London with said bruk up knee, so concerned about said iPhone that I decided to just ignore it. Not wise.

– New iPhone delivered – Sim card fucked

– Drag bruk up knee to EE (bastards) to fix

– Broken iPhone screen – another new phone needed (2 days later)

– Laptop breaks. All lines of communication are affected. I am now freaking the fuck out.

– Can’t go to Glastonbury. This is a killer

– General working life drama

– Cat gets brave and takes to balcony on her own. Brand new level of crazy now exist within me thinking they will escape my life and run away to Lady Dina’s Cat Emporium.

All of these things have contributed to this being a really shit month and yet here I am,  as calm as a hindu cow. None of the above things have evoked the passion in me to blarp it all out at you guys. Gutted, I know.

It’s a fucking iPhone at the end of the day, should it cause this much drama? When I finally had my life restored with a fully functioning apple bastard cellular, my phone nearly exploded (complete exaggeration) with messages of a concerned nature.

‘Lil, are you ok? You haven’t been online on whats app for 3 days

‘Hello.. are you dead? Talk to me… It’s been 18 hours since you were last online, whats going on?’

And as for my knee, looks like I will be getting a new one at some point anyways. I’ll worry about that when the time comes.

I’m feeling pretty content. This feels odd.  Maybe it’s the calm before the storm.

Who knows, who cares. Not me evidently so.





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